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True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements.
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth (as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness) is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love. When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday ― a triple-decker toolbox! Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.When you’re interviewing for a job, the last thing you want to do is inadvertently say something that makes your interviewer roll their eyes – and yet some of the most common lines used in interviews do exactly that. News & World Report today, I talk about lines that will make hiring managers cringe. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs).The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is." These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge.